


Can't Let Go Of Forever

by MaliceManaged



Series: A Norse God's Questionable Ideas Of Courtship [8]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence - Thor: The Dark World, Confessions, Death, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Loki Needs a Hug, Revelations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2017-05-05
Packaged: 2018-10-28 07:12:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10826370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaliceManaged/pseuds/MaliceManaged
Summary: In which secrets are learned, and promises made.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, hey, look; this still exists. Sorry about the delay and all that jazz I'd say if I didn't desperately need sleep. I'mma go crash now.

    Luna Altieri had a secret. A secret she kept even from her late father. The only person who knew was her grandmother, as it had once been her secret, but she had passed away years ago. Ten years to the day, to be exact; only a day after Luna gained her secret. She had been there when Lucia Altieri drew her final breath, holding her hand as she filled the eleven-year-old’s ears with a story in exchange for a promise. Luna hadn’t fully understood the significance of it at the time, but as the years passed she began to see what her nonna had asked of her.

 

    And now she was contemplating breaking that promise, in a way, to keep another.

 

    She was back home again; Loki had been needed (although he used the term loosely) in Asgard two weeks prior, and he’d left her in her house after placing several protective spells around the property. In those two weeks she had received a formal letter of apology from the _former_ agents of SHIELD responsible for her surveillance delivered by Rogers, who wanted to see that she was okay for himself. She would have thought his concern sweet if she hadn’t known it was mostly fuelled by a distrust of Loki, despite the fact that he was the only one in her recent life who _hadn’t_ put her in danger.

 

    Loki hadn’t visited since he’d dropped her off, but she’d expected that; and even with how busy he was being kept he still found the time to send her a gift for her birthday, which had been two days ago. The golden bird pendant that had since adorned her neck had made her both laugh and make a mental note to kick him the next time she saw him.

 

    She was absently playing with the pendant as she sketched on a drawing pad, sitting curled up in a lounge chair on her back porch, when she came to a sudden realisation that caused her to freeze. She sat there staring off at nothing for a while, analysing this new-yet-not-quite-new information from every possible angle, wanting to be sure it was absolutely true. It was as she was contemplating that Loki walked up behind her, having let himself into the house after she didn’t respond to his knocks.

 

    “That’s very good,” He commented as he looked at her sketch over her shoulder, causing her to start with a surprised gasp and turn around in the seat.

 

    “That’s it; I’m putting a bell on you,” Luna said as her heart rate returned to normal.

 

    “It wouldn’t work,” Loki replied with a smirk, “Just ask Thor.”

 

    Luna raised an eyebrow then shook her head. “I don’t want to know,” She said bemusedly.

 

    “Now tell me, little bird,” Loki began as he sat down in front of her on the space left over by her current position, “What has your mind so occupied you didn’t hear the door?”

 

    “Oh, nothing much,” Luna replied, setting her sketch down on the table beside her, “Just trying to talk myself out of falling in love with you.”

 

    For a moment Loki simply stared at her with an utterly stunned expression. “I... see...” He said after he collected himself enough to remember how to speak, “How goes that?”

 

    “I failed,” Luna replied, “Miserably.”

 

    “Ah; how unfortunate,” Loki said, “Perhaps you could try again?”

 

    Luna pretended to give it some thought. “I _could,_ but I’d rather do this instead,” She replied before sitting up straight, reaching forward and grabbing the collar of his shirt, and pulling him towards her into a kiss.

 

    Loki hesitated for a grand total of two seconds before his hand found its way to the back of Luna’s head and he kissed her back. When she moved back he leaned forward and captured her lips again, continuing to move forward until her back met the chair and placing his forearms on either side of her head to keep his weight off her. After what felt like hours she pushed at his chest a little and they parted for much needed air.

 

    “I’m going to have to agree with your decision,” Loki said after a while, earning a laugh.

 

    “I bet,” Luna replied then wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him back down.

 

****

 

    “My nonna passed away ten years ago today,” Luna commented as sat down next to him on the couch and handed him a cup of tea.

 

    “My sympathies,” Loki replied, using his seidr to cool the beverage to a more comfortable temperature, “You were close?”

 

    Luna huffed a laugh. “ _Everyone_ was; one did not simply _not_ adore that woman.”

 

    “Are you well enough to travel and meet someone?” He asked, earning a questioning look, “I thought perhaps it was time you met my mother; I believe you’d like her.” She narrowed her eyes at him a bit in suspicion and he breathed a laugh. “Alright; she wants to meet you and I’ve run out of excuses to delay it.”

 

    “You told your mother about me?”

 

    “You’ll find there’s surprisingly little I _don’t_ tell my mother about, but yes, I did. Would you like to meet her?”

 

    Luna shrugged. “Sure; why not?”

 

****

 

    It didn’t take long for Luna to come to like the Allmother; she seemed quite interested in getting to know her and it was more than obvious that she adored Loki. She did occasionally eye Luna a bit curiously when she thought she wasn’t paying attention, but Luna brushed it off. Odin was... not particularly thrilled with her presence, but didn’t really say much about it, which suited her just fine.

 

    She hadn’t forgotten everything that Loki had told her about his relationship with his ‘father’.

 

    It was a few days later that everything went wrong; Thor had brought a woman named Jane Foster, whom Luna had vaguely heard of, to the palace with the intent to heal an apparently dangerous illness that had befallen her, only for it to turn out to be a weapon long thought lost belonging to an enemy not quite as extinct as they’d believed. Soon after, Malekith led an attack on the palace while one of his soldiers attacked from inside the dungeons.

 

    Luna and Jane were left in the care of Frigga while Loki and Thor went with Odin to defend the palace, and Frigga gave them strict instructions to stay out of sight. Luna tried to do as she was told, but a terrible feeling in the pit of her stomach had her leaving the room she and Jane were in and making her way to where the queen had gone. She walked into the room in time to see the creature from the dungeons holding Frigga suspended in the air by the back of her neck; it raised a sword against her back and Luna threw caution to the wind, acting purely on instinct as she ran towards them, the warning to stay hidden completely forgotten.

 

    “No!” She yelled in a panicked attempt to gain the enemies’ attention.

 

    The creature reacted by carelessly tossing Frigga aside and turning to Luna, plunging the blade deep into her stomach, piercing all the way through to her back as she let out a strangled gasp.

 

    “Luna!” Thor called as he landed on the balcony, wasting no time to set loose a bolt of lightning that struck Malekith’s face.

 

    The creature pulled its sword back, causing Luna to crumple to the floor with a pained whimper, and moved to attack Thor to give Malekith time to escape before following him. Frigga pulled herself up and rushed to Luna’s side, pressing her hand to the wound in an attempt to stem the bleeding just as Loki and Odin reached the room, stopping dead in their tracks at the scene before them.

 

    “Luna!” Loki cried as he regained himself and ran over, dropping to his knees by Luna’s side and gathering her into his arms.

 

    “I’m s-sorry, Loki,” Luna choked out, clutching his arm as strongly as she could manage with her shaky fingers, “I should have told you sooner.”

 

    “No; don’t you dare do this to me, little bird. Don’t you dare!”

 

    “I’ll explain later,” She managed weakly, feeling herself fading fast, “I promise. Just wait.”

 

    “What are you... Luna?” He called just above a whisper as he saw she had stilled, her eyes glazed over and unseeing. He shook her slightly to no avail. “Luna!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before y'all ask; yes, I do enjoy your suffering. XD
> 
> I'm about halfway done with the second chapter, so you probably won't have to wait long.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See? I told you you wouldn't have to wait long.

    It wasn’t until Jane walked into the room and gasped at the sight that met her that Loki so much as stirred, and it was only to turn and regard her with an utterly murderous expression that had her taking several steps back even though she was already quite far from him. Thor moved in front of his lover protectively, though Loki hadn’t moved any further.

 

    “This is _your_ fault,” Loki spoke with eerie calmness, frightening Jane more than if he had screamed.

 

    “Loki; you can’t blame this on her,” Thor tried to reason even as his grip on Mjolnir tightened in anticipation of a fight, “No one could have known this would happen.”

 

    “Did you even _try_ to stop her?” Loki continued as though Thor hadn’t spoken, “Or were you too much more concerned with your own _pathetic_ life?!”

 

    “Of course I tried to stop her!” Jane retorted, anger surging past her fear at his accusation, “She was too strong!”

 

    He sucked in a sharp breath at her use of past tense even as he accepted the truth of her words; Luna _was_ curiously strong for a mortal. Something she’d never gotten around to explaining.

 

    And now he supposed she never would.

 

    He flinched as he felt someone grab his hand and looked down to see that Frigga had stood and was looking up at him with sympathy and concern. He pulled his hand away and moved back to Luna’s body, declaring almost numbly that he was going to see it taken care of before picking it up and making his way out of the room without so much as a glance at anyone else, leaving them looking after him worriedly.

 

****

 

    He couldn’t feel. It was as though any and all emotion had been drained out of him as he sat by the table where Luna had been laid, cleaned of blood and dressed in a deep green dress that, he mused, would have brought out her emerald eyes beautifully. His hand held her much smaller, freckle-spattered one, thumb idly rubbing over her knuckles as he stared off at nothing.

 

    The funerals would be starting soon, he’d been told, and Luna, it had been decided, would be the first to be sent off, given how she had bravely given her life to save the Allmother. But Loki didn’t budge, nor would he; his mind still repeating her last words to him.

 

    ‘Just wait’, she’d said. And so he would.

 

    He sensed when Frigga and Odin walked into the room but did not acknowledge them in any way; knowing exactly what they were there for.

 

    “Loki...” Frigga began.

 

    “You’re not taking her,” Loki interrupted.

 

    Frigga sighed. “Loki; I understand how you feel-”

 

    “Do you?” He snapped, looking up at her, “You were supposed to keep her safe. I _trusted you_ to keep her safe.”

 

    “And I am sorry I failed; more than words can ever express. But you have to let her go.”

 

    “She asked me to wait, and that is what I intend to do.”

 

    “Loki; she is gone,” Odin spoke with a softness to his tone that would have surprised him had he not been so numb, “She deserves a proper send off. Would you deny her that?”

 

    “I would deny her nothing,” Loki replied in a half whisper, but still did not move to stand. “She asked me to wait.”

 

    Frigga walked up to him and ran her fingers through his hair. When he didn’t turn away from her, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, causing him to finally let go of Luna’s hand so he could turn and cling to Frigga, burying his face in her chest and breaking down at last. Frigga ran a hand through his hair and murmured soothing words as she held him, wishing she could do more. If she had only known...

 

    Odin waited until Loki had exhausted his tears, knowing he wouldn’t want any to witness such, then called in the ones who would take Luna’s body to be placed in the funeral boat. It was as he was giving those instructions that a sharp gasp was heard and they all turned towards the table; to their utmost shock, Luna’s body twitched before she lurched upwards into a sitting position with a deep intake of breath.

 

    Luna breathed heavily as her lungs got re-accustomed to oxygen, her hands propped behind her to keep herself upright. Loki approached her hesitantly, half wondering if he had finally lost his mind, and began reaching a hand up to her when she looked up, one eye peeking out from under her loose mane of hair.

 

    “I didn’t dare,” Luna said softly, voice a little hoarse from disuse.

 

    Loki made a sort of choked sound that was halfway a laugh then closed the rest of the distance between them and pulled her into his arms, not really caring for explanations at the moment. She was alive; that was enough for him. He didn’t realise how tightly he was holding onto her until she complained about a lack of oxygen then relaxed his grip, but did not let go. Part of him figured he should; he should be questioning her at the very least, and they were hardly alone besides. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

 

    “Loki?” Luna’s voice was slightly muffled, half her face pressed against his chest, and she half-heartedly pushed at him, “Mio caro, you kind of need to let me go for a bit.”

 

    It still took Frigga’s hand on his arm to get him to release Luna and step back enough so that she could swing her legs over the side of the table. Luna brushed her hair out of her face and looked up to see everyone staring at her still with varying degrees of shock, causing her to shift a bit before her brow furrowed and she looked down at herself, raising an eyebrow at the dress she wore.

 

    “File that away for later,” She muttered to herself then looked back up and smiled sheepishly. “So, this requires explanations, doesn’t it?”

 

    “It does,” Odin replied.

 

    _“How?”_ Was all Loki managed to make himself say.

 

    Luna turned to him, biting her lower lip. “Remember that secret I told you about? After...” She paused, shuddering slightly at the memory of her torture, “Well, two months ago?”

 

    “I remember you promised to tell me what it was.”

 

    “And I was going to. Soon. Just... I wasn’t counting on... well, this.” She took a breath, steeling her nerves for the consequences. “I’m sort of immortal.”

 

****

 

    Word had spread that Luna had been badly wounded defending the queen but had survived, and those who had witness her resurrection had been sworn to secrecy at her insistence. To maintain the illusion of recovery, she was to remain in the room normally reserved for the Allfather’s rest during the Odinsleep and none but the royal family and Eir were allowed inside. Loki had only reluctantly left her side so they could plan how to stop Malekith, and the moment he could, he returned to her.

 

    “Explain how exactly one can be ‘sort of immortal’,” Odin asked as Eir examined Luna to confirm that she was, in fact, in perfect health.

 

    “I can’t explain it _exactly;_ I don’t know how it works, really, just that it does,” Luna replied, sitting up straight and clasping her hands together on her lap, “When I was eleven; I was playing in my nonna’s villa and I came upon a box hidden in the cellar. _Naturally,_ I opened it. I don’t really remember what happened next; just that I woke up and I had all this... restless energy. Nonna told me that what I found was a gift she’d been tasked with keeping safe, and that I wasn’t supposed to receive it until I was much older. Whatever was inside that box is inside me now, and it’s keeping me alive... sort of. Obviously, I _can_ die, I just don’t... stay dead.”

 

    “Well, that’s convenient,” Jane spoke up.

 

    “No, it’s not; dying _hurts,”_ Luna retorted and Jane winced sympathetically. She turned to Loki. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before, but nonna made me promise not to tell anyone unless it was _absolutely_ unavoidable.”

 

    Loki gave it some thought then nodded. “Understandable; that knowledge in the wrong hands...”

 

    “Exactly.”

 

    “So there is no way for you to die permanently?” Thor asked.

 

    She gave him an unamused look. “I don’t exactly go around getting myself killed on a regular basis, Thor.”

 

    “I should hope not,” Loki said a bit more sharply than he intended, causing Luna to flinch and look at him guiltily.

 

    “I’m really sorry I put you through that; I wasn’t thinking, I just...” She trailed off with a glance at Frigga and a helpless shrug.

 

    Loki let out a deep sigh, cupped her face in his hands and rested his forehead against hers. “It’s alright, little bird; just... never leave me again,” He whispered so that only she could hear.

 

    Luna placed her hands over his and tilted her face up to kiss him. “I won’t. I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'mio caro' = italian for 'my dear'


End file.
